Troubled Mind

It all started out so well. Vader and I went to Corellia for a relaxing getaway. It was the first time since our honeymoon in which we could spend a large amount of time alone without problems. As he would say, “things were…most impressive”. 

And then everything changed. 

I woke up one morning to find Vader gone and Captain Needa at my door reporting about a possible rebel attack nearby, and that we were supposed to wait for a transport back to Executor. Instead we ended up on some fodder Jake’s ship.

I’ve never been so frightened in my entire life. All I could think of was Vader, father and Cesera… and how I was so sure I’d never see them again. For the two weeks I was stuck on his ship, no matter what I did to try to escape, Jake was always one step ahead. When I tried to fight back, he’d respond ten times harder. By the time Vader, Dad and Bryce came to rescue Needa and myself, I was so broken down I could barely stand to defend myself.

Even though I’m back on Executor now, I still can’t get over what happened…. Vader put me on bed rest so I could properly recover from my injuries but it feels like a glorified prison more than anything. If he found me outside his quarters he’d just order me back to sleep. I even wore myself out going to the bridge in the middle of the night begging him to come to bed because I’m too frightened to sleep by myself, too frightened to be alone for too long. All I have are nightmares of what happened on Jake’s ship…I'd get chills from his leering; my arms would hurt from where he kept grabbing me; sometimes my face would sting from being struck so harshly; even my head would ache from him yanking me around by my hair. Cesera’s been so helpful, bringing dinner, coloring books, and even taking her naps with me so I’m not by myself all day. My father would bring me breakfast every morning before he went on duty. It really meant a lot….

…but Vader, the one person I need most, isn’t here…. I can’t get through this without him. I’m so apprehensive it’s unbearable.

He doesn’t understand what I’m going through. No one does…