Baby Girl Blues

Friday afternoon I received a comm call from Cesera's school. Her teacher wanted to have a conference. The woman said it was a bit urgent. I didn't know what to think. Cesera is only in kindergarten. What trouble could she possibly have gotten into?

Well, I sat down with her teacher and I was a bit surprised about what she told me. Apparently Cesera hasn't been as energetic as she used to be in class-- nor has she been interacting with the other children like she used to be...among other various things the woman mentioned.
This was all a shock to me. I've never seen such solitary behavior in her before. Well, here at home she plays by herself at times, being an only child-- but I've never once seen her so  unmotivated.

I tried confronting her about this yesterday but she insisted nothing was wrong. She apparently inherited Vader's skills for suppressing her feelings. She's more like her father than I thought. Nonetheless, I wish she'd talk to me. I'm her mother-- I want to help her if something's wrong. If something or someone is hurting her, I want to make it all better. It's what I'm here for...

Expecting the Unexpected

My trip to see Shara turned out longer than I had anticipated. While I was asleep the crew received orders for a new mission so they took off-- with me still on board. Naturally when I found out I was a bit surprised but nonetheless it seemed a bit exciting. This was my first mission and I was excited to be a part of some action instead of safely sheltered from any sort of confrontation.

And then I learned about the mission itself.

Pirates. 

What I've heard about them wasn't too good. I kept hoping they weren't as nasty as every one's kept implying-- especially in case things were brought to one on one confrontations, I didn't exactly bring a weapon along.
We finally met with the pirates, and to make a long, complicated story shorter, aside from being leered at by a bunch of huge unsavory men, I think things went somewhat well.

Once the Liberty II returned to Tynnara, I finally received a comm call from Vader. He said he was sent off on some top secret mission. He won't say where he is and doesn't know when he'll be back. I'm a little worried... the last time we saw each other in person it wasn't so pleasant. I'm sure this mission he's on is dangerous...he needs to keep a clear head.

Nonetheless, I said goodbye to the friends I've made on the Liberty and traveled back to Coruscant to take care of Cesera and wait for him to return, hopefully sooner than later.

At least he promised to call here and then. I'll take what I can get.

Change of Scenery

I’m tired…tired of being alone, neglected, and uncomfortable.  

As the days went on, I started feeling worse. I finally put my foot down once I lost my ambition to really cook anything. I commed @SharatheOrion and asked if I could come over to the Liberty II for a checkup. There had to be something seriously wrong...

...but there wasn't. Shara looked me over and couldn’t find anything. She said I was no doubt under a lot of stress after what happened. She also suggested I shouldn’t be by myself. Since @The_Darth_Vader is away, I’m staying on the Liberty with Shara and the crew. I’ll probably be returning to Coruscant in a few days though. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.

I’m glad I decided to stay on board. Everyone here is so nice. @DamianIstann and @Vil_Dance even invited me to go to the surface for dinner and drinks. It was a nice evening. 

But as much as I'm enjoying my time here, I can’t help but be worried. The last time I saw Vader, we ended up having a fight and now I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve no idea where he could be, but I hope he’s alright.

Troubled Mind

It all started out so well. Vader and I went to Corellia for a relaxing getaway. It was the first time since our honeymoon in which we could spend a large amount of time alone without problems. As he would say, “things were…most impressive”. 

And then everything changed. 

I woke up one morning to find Vader gone and Captain Needa at my door reporting about a possible rebel attack nearby, and that we were supposed to wait for a transport back to Executor. Instead we ended up on some fodder Jake’s ship.

I’ve never been so frightened in my entire life. All I could think of was Vader, father and Cesera… and how I was so sure I’d never see them again. For the two weeks I was stuck on his ship, no matter what I did to try to escape, Jake was always one step ahead. When I tried to fight back, he’d respond ten times harder. By the time Vader, Dad and Bryce came to rescue Needa and myself, I was so broken down I could barely stand to defend myself.

Even though I’m back on Executor now, I still can’t get over what happened…. Vader put me on bed rest so I could properly recover from my injuries but it feels like a glorified prison more than anything. If he found me outside his quarters he’d just order me back to sleep. I even wore myself out going to the bridge in the middle of the night begging him to come to bed because I’m too frightened to sleep by myself, too frightened to be alone for too long. All I have are nightmares of what happened on Jake’s ship…I'd get chills from his leering; my arms would hurt from where he kept grabbing me; sometimes my face would sting from being struck so harshly; even my head would ache from him yanking me around by my hair. Cesera’s been so helpful, bringing dinner, coloring books, and even taking her naps with me so I’m not by myself all day. My father would bring me breakfast every morning before he went on duty. It really meant a lot….

…but Vader, the one person I need most, isn’t here…. I can’t get through this without him. I’m so apprehensive it’s unbearable.

He doesn’t understand what I’m going through. No one does…

Guess Who's Back

I finally found my way out from under the mean old admiral's bed and wow was that a cat nap. Everything seems so different! My wolf pals MeanOne, Kriffer, and Kiska are nowhere to be found... and now I can't find my owner!

The mean admiral (Okins) said my owner and her black robed...mate(?) went home to Corellia...and they didn't take me!!! This is a furry outrage! I miss running outside trying to nom on the grass and sleeping in my warm fluffy cat mat by the fireplace...

Someone will be scratched harshly for this!!

I guess I can make do chasing them mousy droids and jumping onto the awesome Admiral's cap while I wait. That's always fun...

How Quickly Time Flies

While sitting outside, it dawned on me that this month marks one year living on Executor. I could barely believe it for it seemed like only yesterday...

I had come on board to visit my father for the weekend. At the time it was just an ordinary visit. However it turned out a group of rebels had poisoned the food supply. A large number of the crew became severely ill, father included. I ended up spending nearly all of my time in Executor's medical bay helping him recover (and to prevent him from escaping).

Instead of just staying for the one weekend, I ended up remaining on board for about a week. I didn't want to go back to Coruscant until I was sure he was fully recovered. While I wasn't in the med bay, I ended up in Lord Vader's company more and more as the days wen on (Mind you we weren't married yet). He must have sensed how worried I've been. We were sitting in the observation lounge when I heard Dad's condition turned for the worse. I went into a panic, however Vader was able to calm me down to the extent that I ended up falling asleep in his arms.

I think that night our chemistry must have clicked...the next morning upon making sure I was alright, he requested that I stay on board. Permanently. For reasons I couldn't explain, I just couldn't say no....

Now one year later, I'm still finding myself lost among the ship's many identical corridors, tripping over mouse droids, and finding the food in the mess hall incredibly horrid.

Some things never change.

Home is Where the Heart Is

Vader and I were long overdue for some quality time together. So when he agreed to pull himself from duty, I took it upon myself to find the perfect spot for some rest and relaxation. I was torn. There were so many wonderful vacation spots throughout the galaxy for us to visit, and I've been longing to go back to Delaya where we spent most of our honeymoon. But after some consideration, I decided to take us to my home on Corellia. It's quiet there and if anything, I figured Vader could at least catch up on all of the sleep he's been lacking.

I haven't been to my home since the Jedi fodder @Rogue__Jedi tried killing my father last December. But now that he's gone, I've been able to fully enjoy myself. This place brings back so many memories, good and bad. I grew up in this house, and I'm excited to share a part of my past with Vader.

Although he's been spending nearly all of his time in bed, I'm glad Vader's finally able to unwind from his work. I haven't seen him this relaxed in a long time. It's going to be difficult to have to go back to Executor....

Depressed Housewife

Monday was Cesera's first day of school. It's also tied as the worst day of my life.

My poor baby was kidnapped by @NatasiDaala for reasons I can't explan...to be delivered to someone I don't yet know. I've never felt so guilty and heartbroken in my entire life. I should've known signing her up for school on Coruscant was a foolish idea. Cesera was so excited, determined to be around other children, to be as normal of a child as possible.

But none of that matters. She's who knows where by now...she could be sick...crying for her mommy, daddy...even banthy, and there's nothing I can do.

For me, things went worse when @501st told me Vader had left Coruscant to find her. Just like that, taking my father with him. At that moment, I truly felt alone, left to suffer through this horrid situation by myself. I don't know where my husband is...if he's alright...or even if he knows where my Cesera is in the first place....

Dear Force? Please protect my daughter... and bring all three of them home to me safe and sound...

It's too much to bear...

Place your Bets

I’m sure all of you ladies know what I’m talking about. There’s that one thing that happens in your life that you never tell to your father or else he’ll go kill someone…bust a blood vessel…both? Is it our fault our Daddies are so overprotective? Kriff…


Well I kept something big from my father. Was it the right thing to do? Not sure. Then again... my father isn’t the best to get along with lest be near when he’s severely pissed off. And what happened? Somehow he found out that Vader tried to kill me. He’s mad.

So mad he’s been ordering Vader back to the ship. And what’s our Sith lord doing? Avoiding him as long as possible… not for much longer, I can tell you that.

Guys…I'm worried. They don't exactly have the best Father-Son-in-law relationship...

                      


Vader
vs.
Okins







Place your bets...

Royal Pain in the Back

What stinks more than being stuck in bed? Try being stuck in bed alone and without perks for who knows how long…



Things were going fine. @Ensign_Korban was locked away in his cell; Vader had returned to the ship; Cesera was happy as could be. Until about three weeks ago. The pain in my lower back started to get progressively worse. I was ignoring it as best as I could until one night, @AdmiralOkins came to check up on me while I was cleaning up in the kitchen. Suddenly the pain was so horrible I could barely stand. He took me to the Med bay and had who knows how many droids come over and determine the cause of the pain. What did they find? Absolutely nothing. And then Vader found out what was going on. Well, after an argument with him, I did get out of becoming a permanent medical resident. Instead, Vader put me on bed rest. No strenuous activity, no cooking, no meditation, nothing. In other words… don’t get out of bed.

I’ll admit, the first two days weren’t bad. I read a few books, watched old holos, took plenty of naps, etc. But as the days went on, things got progressively worse. Aside from Dad and Cesera bringing me all of my meals, I haven’t seen anyone. Vader even took on extra shifts so nearly every night I fell asleep and woke up alone. One day, Cesera came in and asked why I haven’t moved in over a week…all I could say was “Mommy’s in pain. She can’t get up.” Cesera looked at me with such sad eyes. I felt so horrible at that point.

The very next day I went to see Shara at NavKor HQ to see if she could find something the medical droids couldn’t. According to her, I was suffering from muscle spasms. She gave me a muscle relaxer and told me to take it easy for a while. I asked Leia to care for Cesera and I went to visit Luke and Mara on Naboo for some relaxation (on his request). Although I was still restricted to what I could do, it was nice to be around people again. I was so lonely those last few weeks.

Don’t bust your back. It’ll only make your miserable.